Illustration by Joaquin Kunkel

The Successor to Al Bloom Has Been Found

And we are feline good about it.

Apr 28, 2018

On March 12, NYU Abu Dhabi’s Vice Chancellor Alfred H. Bloom announced his plans to retire from his position by August 2019. His announcement was made a year in advance in order to leave ample time for the search for a replacement. In a shocking turn of events, the decision for the new Vice Chancellor has already been made.
It is a common practice in today’s world to look for people from outside when hiring top leadership for one’s institution. NYU president André Hamelon was hired from Oxford University, and Bloom himself was poached from Swarthmore College. However, it has been decided that hiring internally would best allow for NYUAD’s budding culture to continue by ensuring that new leadership is familiar with the core values of the institution.
The new Vice Chancellor has been part of the University since its move to Saadiyat Island in 2014, and has contributed to the community in a meowryad of ways. A true trailblazer, she did not shy away from establishing university norms that were unconventional and created a cat-friendly space in the Engineering Design Studio, where she spends most of her time. Born and raised in the UAE, she is able to help the university better connect to its host nation as well as guide it through the process of Emiratisation. To protect what matters most, she is not afraid to show her claws and dig deep.
Yes, the new Vice Chancellor will be Streetcat.
Reactions from students, faculty and staff have all been positive to this development. Indeed, she enjoys a kind of cult of personality among members of the community.
“I really love Streetcat, I don’t think anybody would be able to do the job quite like her. I think she will really catapult us toward success, if you catch my drift,” Damien Mart Coralle, Class of 2018, said, while pointing at his shirt, featuring her image.
Harriet Broker, a senior faculty member, was also thrilled. “I am a huge fan of Streetcat and all the work she has done and continues to do for this university. I also think that by creating an inclusive space, a space in which we can have the first female, feline Vice Chancellor of a university in the world. Well, I don’t know. I just think that’s beautiful, and sends a really meaningful message.”
We asked Al Bloom how he felt about his replacement, and he could not have been happier with the choice.
“A… cat? What were people thinking [before]? This is [not] insanity. I mean … [not only is it] a [beautiful] cat.. it purrs nicely [too]... I was a prized linguist, cats... don’t even [need to] speak. What is she going to do all day? This makes ... sense [to me]!”
Heartwarming words from Mr. Bloom.
And what did Streetcat have to say?
Indeed. Meow indeed, Ms. Vice Chancellor.
Aron Braunsteiner is a satire columnist. Email him at
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