Graphic by Asyrique Thevendran/The Gazelle

Relationships are never simple. There are feelings involved, hard decisions, misinterpretations and mistakes. My relationship with my religion in university has been a rollercoaster ride, to say the least. When I was younger it was a lot easier. Islam said X, Y and Z, and I followed X, Y and Z. In university, however, I’ve been forced to confront Islam on a much deeper level, and from that I learned a few things.

The first thing I learned was that I always have a choice. Time and time again, I have seen myself and my peers shy away from Islam because of the mistakes we make. We enter into a falling spiral, doing things I know we wouldn’t normally do if we weren’t purposefully ignorant of our religion. What I realized, though, is that even if I make a mistake or don’t feel as connected with Allah or miss a prayer, it doesn’t mean that I have to continue making that mistake. Rather, I should use these times when I don’t feel sufficiently religious as an opportunity to dig deeper to find faith. We must always remember to fear Allah, but know that He is the one you fall back on when you make mistakes, not the one you lose.

The second thing I learned was the wholesomeness of Islam. Think of the most generous, merciful and forgiving person you know. Multiply their generosity, mercifulness and forgivingness by infinity. These are only three of Allah’s 99 names and already our minds can’t comprehend their full extent. Remember that in Surah al Baqarah, Allah says that, “Allah does not charge a soul except [within] its capacity.” This means that you can handle whatever life throws at you. This understanding helps me to feel whole, a wholesomeness that nothing in the material world can achieve.

The third thing I learned was to incorporate my faith into my daily life. The Islamic Student Union weekly meetings taught me this. Some weeks, I feel like my whole life is falling apart because of the million and one things that I have to do. Though I already know much about what is said at these meetings, they are a way to step back from all the stress of university life and just look at the bigger picture. We talk about what it means to have good character, to be kind to others and how little acts of kindness towards friends and strangers really go a long way. After attending these meetings for the fourth year now, I have learned to incorporate my faith in my daily life by striving to be a good person.

Whenever someone asks me if I am religious, I have a lot of difficulty answering the question. In my head I am screaming no. I see Islam as a way of life and not just as a religion. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I always keep in mind that Allah says, “Take one step toward me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you.” Islam is the most beautiful thing I know. I know I will continue to learn more on my journey with Islam. I love my religion, and I hope one day my entire character will be encompassed by my entire faith.