Graphic by Sana Amin/The Gazelle

Disclaimer: I am definitely going to sound like a spoiled brat.

There was a time long, long ago — and by that I probably mean October — when I would talk about food with a passion, a time that I really miss. I genuinely miss the days when I looked forward to meals. I miss the days when getting through a long school day was easy, because I had a savory meal waiting at home that I would be very excited about. I miss the days when I would save up to go to a sushi restaurant every third weekend of the month. I miss the overwhelming excitement of fatty, greasy burgers. I miss Thursday nights staying in with movies and a lot of oily pizza.

I am not sure what happened exactly, but at some point food became something that I only ate for survival. I am just not as passionate about food as I used to be. I do not remember the last time I actually craved for something to eat. All I crave for now is good coffee and tea — you don’t want to get me complaining about those.

Every part of me wants to blame the Dining Hall. I put faith in the Dining Hall. I tried, again and again. I gave the Meal Plan the benefit of the doubt, over and over, which only led to disappointment. Every day I would try whatever seemed edible, but rarely was I actually pleased. The Hot Wok station gave me some hope — hope which was brutally murdered as all the different flavors of chicken tasted the exact same. I have exhausted the Grab and Go options, which have wonderful wraps that eventually inevitably got very boring. I made the same salads over and over at the Grab and Go, because at some point those were the only things I could get myself to eat. I ate hummus with everything, because that was the only thing that tasted distinct to me. The dining hall then introduced the brilliant new Salad Bar. Thanks to all the new salad options, however, I’m not sure how long it will take until I’m bored of those too.

It’s not that dining hall food sucks — to be fair, sometimes their food is actually great — it’s the fact that it gets boring very easily. I occasionally enjoy their grilled chicken, which for some reason, people call the chicken steak, and every once in a while the pasta is pretty wonderful, but for some reason I really cannot seem to enjoy food anymore.

The moment I realized this was a real issue for me was when I went home for winter break and could not actually enjoy any of my mom’s cooking. It was scary. Probably my biggest nightmare. Especially because whenever someone asked me about what I missed the most about home, I would say food and Turtle Green tea. Then I would remember my family and friends, but that’s OK, I have my priorities straight. The only food I genuinely enjoyed over the holidays was breakfast, nothing else. Not home cooked meals, not mansaf and definitely not fast food. Except for shawarma, which was absolutely heavenly. But yes, to this day, I crave nothing more than some manakeesh from my neighborhood’s bakery, fresh falafel sandwiches from my favorite falafel place, labneh, pickled eggplants, pickled cucumbers and pickled everything. That’s it. Everything else is tasteless.

Thank you to NYU Abu Dhabi for all the free food — I genuinely appreciate it — but food is no longer appetizing to me.